


Pixie Dust

by ForrestKline



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, References to Drugs, Transgender
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-12
Updated: 2014-10-12
Packaged: 2018-02-20 19:47:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2440718
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ForrestKline/pseuds/ForrestKline
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Frank used to have a boyfriend.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pixie Dust

**Author's Note:**

> This is a oneshot im hoping to turn into a series when I get my shit in check which hopefully is very soon. It's pretty special to me especially since I am Trans myself. I wrote it in first person because i've never done that and I like to experiment but I dunno if i should change it or not. If you read this, you should tell me what you think about it.

I used to have a Boyfriend. Gerard was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen, at the time- all messy hair, paint-smudged fingers and obnoxious laughter. He laughed as we kissed, he always said it was because he was so happy; and I thought he was. We were both very happy, except for when we weren't. "Everyone gets depressed sometimes" is what I would whisper in Gerard's ear while I held back his hair so he could empty the contents of his stomach into the toilet.

"It'll be okay."

It wasn't okay for a few years. I always noticed something was a little off, I just couldn't put my guitar worn fingertips on it. I didn't realize until three years after I helped Gerard let go of the booze and got off the pills myself. It was Halloween and we were going to celebrate my birthday with a costume party we didn't plan to stay at for more than an hour tops. It was the way that Gerard glowed in his maid costume. The way he smiled as he'd planned it days before, how he explained what had to be done in order to make the outfit work. I had watched the way he talked with his hands as he explained the important of pushing gender norms, and I had thought that maybe that wasn't all there was to this. I thought maybe my boyfriend was having a little too much fun for it to be just for a Halloween costume. He looked a little too happy about "pushing gender norms". I had thought about bringing it up when I walked in on Gerard shaving his legs with a head full of rollers, inch long eyelashes, rosey cheeks and lips to match. I thought about bringing it up as I carried my boyfriend to the bed bridal style; I couldn't worry about anything but Gerard's soft skin, the water on the sheets and how it made him glimmer. All was forgotten as I kissed the beads of water off my lovers neck and I pushed it completely out of my mind as Gerard undressed me and we made love that night.

See, I never got to have that birthday party because I spent my birthday cleaning up the house after Gerard relapsed. Instead of cheerful chatter and corny Halloween music, I listened to my boyfriend sob and puke all over the bathroom. I wasn't there to see it start, I was out getting Gerard another tube of lipstick to replace the one that melted in his pocket the day before. I got the call from Mikey who left right as I walked in and I was too scared to ask questions. All I got was a "He fucked up, Frank." and I was doing 90mph down a residential street. I didn't ask for an explanation as I stroked his back until his sobs became soft whimpers. I caught the apologies tumbling out of his trembling lips with my own. I think in a way, I knew what was wrong before he did. Maybe that's stupid of me to assume, but Gerard didn't leave the bedroom for 5 days. He didn't sleep, he didn't eat. He barely looked at me. I thought for a while he thought I would leave, I thought he was afraid to tell me what we both knew. That was until I realized that maybe only I knew; so one morning I woke up and left our apartment. I thought I'd be back before Gerard woke up but I guess I didn't time things all well as I thought I had. Maybe the cold on my side of the bed woke him up, or maybe I was wrong about all of it. That's what I thought, but I didn't have to call his phone to find him because I already knew where he'd be.

That was the day Mikey broke my nose.

I was greeted at the Way house with a fist to the face and I didn't understand at the time. All I could do was let Gerard bandage my nose and listen to Mikey apologize profusely and offer me rights to his extensive Vinyl collection as compensation a few hours later. Apparently Gerard really had thought I would leave. I didn't really want to say anything at the time, I just waited until Mikey excused himself to get the bags out of my trunk and unload the contents on my boyfriends old bedroom/basement floor. Once the realization and excitement showed in his eyes, I knew for once I wasn't wrong about something- and anyways, she got dressed while I iced my nose. I sat on her bed dumbly and waited for her to take hours to get ready like all other girls did. I thanked God for that one medical course in school as I popped my nose back into place, andnearlyscreamedinpain.

The first click of heels made me realize I'd fallen asleep, and when I jerked my head up I'd decided she was way too pretty not to leave this house. From the curls that neatly framed her soft face, to the floral dress that hugged the curves I knew the corset hidden underneath created; I felt like I'd been struck by lightening. No one said anything about it. I called her all the variations and synonyms of beautiful I could think of off the top of my head and fought the urge to just read them off to her straight from a thesaurus. That night I held the chair out for her in a restaurant I really couldn't afford and ordered things in Italian I knew I didn't have the cash to pay for. I payed with my card and my depleting bank account was worth the smile stretched across her face and the way she twisted her curls with her fingers as she blushed throughout the rest of the night. She smelled like a rose garden and that night I made love to my girlfriend for the first time.

I have a girlfriend, now. She is the most gorgeous thing I have ever seen. All messy hair, paint smudged fingers and obnoxious laughter. She laughs as we kiss and always says it's because she is so happy; and I know she is. We are both very happy, we always are. Nothing changed, just fell right into place like rain in the ocean.


End file.
